Homestuck: Act 1
|start = |end = |length = 247 pages |next = Act 2: Raise of the Conductor's Baton }} The first act of Homestuck is titled . The act is an introduction to the characters and the setting of the game, following John Egbert's efforts to obtain and play his copy of Sburb up until he enters the Medium. The concepts of captchaloguing, sylladices, and fetch modi are explored. Click the " " to open the page from Homestuck. * Sburb, a popular but mysterious new computer game, is introduced. John's copy of the game was meant to arrive three days before his birthday but is arriving late. * John's distaste for baked goods overdose is revealed. * Pesterchum, a major means of communicating in Homestuck, is introduced. John's friends are seen in his contact list: turntechGodhead, tentacleTherapist, and gardenGnostic. * TG messages John and suggests that he check his mail for his copy of Sburb. Upon looking outside, John sees the flag on the mailbox turned up, indicating new mail. * John's Dad is first (not) seen, beating John to the mailbox. John gets messaged by TG again. John combines the fake arms with the cake to make them funnier. * John allocates his strife specibus with hammerkind. * Dad's obsession with harlequins is noted as soon as John exits his bedroom. * Nanna is also semi-introduced, though as non-living ashes in an urn, which is promptly toppled. * John is given a giant harlequin doll as a gift from his father. * John uses the frosting to stick the fake arms to the harlequin doll. TT contacts John while he's getting his fake arms from his room. * John peeks into his dad's car and sees a green package and something that looks like a slip of paper. * John looks through the kitchen and sees a red package and an envelope with the Sburb logo on it. * John enters the kitchen and gets into Strife with his dad. * John absconds from the fight, taking the red package, the envelope, and his dad's PDA with him. * While installing the beta, John finds a Queue Fetch Modus. This Fetch Modus works like Stack but only allows the user to access the card on the bottom, not the top. * After applying the Queue Modus, John realizes he doesn't have a physical card for the Stack Modus. This means he's stuck using Queue. * In order to get the red package on the bottom card to open, John begins captchaloging items, accidentally breaking his window, smearing a cake on his wall, and sending several of his items into the yard. * John finally opens the red package, finding the bunny from Con Air, one of his favorite really terrible movies. * The Sburb beta finishes installing on John's computer. * TT explains that there are two different disks and players in Sburb; the server and the client. She connects as a server player to John, who only has the client disk. * The server in Sburb has an array of tools that allow them to alter the reality around their client. ** 'Select' allows them to select an object and move it around. The client player can't be selected. ** 'Revise' allows them to revise a room's dimensions, making more floor space, etc. ** The 'Phernalia Registry' holds machines that play a role in the game. ** 'Deploy' lets the server drop an item from the Registry into the world. ** The 'Grist Cache' tells the server how much grist they have. Grist is a resource in Sburb that are expended when the server uses Revise or Deploy. ** The 'Atheneum' lists all the known configurations of totems made from cruxite dowels and the corresponding item for each totem. * TT puts John's Magic Chest on the roof. * John finds his Stack Fetch Modus card on the floor where the chest once stood, allowing him to freely switch between Stack and Queue. * The server player's abilities are limited to the area around their client. The client must move within range of an area or object in order for the server to manipulate it. * TT revises John's room to have more room in the corner. She deploys the Totem Lathe in this area. * With John standing in the extended part of his room, TT is able to reach and bring John his copy of Harry Anderson "Wise Guy" and his Dad's PDA. * TT deploys the Cruxtruder in John's living room, unwittingly blocking the front door. * TT deploys the Alchemiter, the last of the freebie machines, on John's balcony. * John installs Pesterchum on the PDA, allowing him to communicate with his friends even when not at his computer. * While trying to clean up the toilet in the bathroom, TT accidentally rips it out of the floor and puts it in the backyard. * John hops down the resulting hole to the utility room, finding a sledgehammer and a blank strife card. By combining the two, he can now access both regular and sledgehammers freely. * TT pulls out the bathtub in the same manner as the toilet. While moving it, her connection is lost, leaving the bathtub in the middle of the hallway. * Using the sledgehammer (and TT's help), John opens the Cruxtruder, freeing the Kernelsprite and starting a countdown on the machine. * John takes a Cruxite Dowel from the Cruxtruder, a Pre-Punched Card from TT, and several of his dad's harlequin statues. Shards of glass he captchalogued earlier are ejected from his sylladex and rip apart his harlequin doll. * TT, reading from a walkthrough that the kernelsprite must be 'prototyped,' drops the doll onto it, merging the two. * John places the Cruxite Dowel on the Alchemiter, which scans it and creates 3 Perfectly Generic Objects. * John, using a telescope, sees a meteor in the sky, headed straight for his house. * By sticking the Pre-Punched Card and Cruxite Dowel in the Totem Lathe, John creates a Totem. * While trying to move back the bathtub, TT's connection is lost again, barricading John in his bedroom. * The perspective changes to TT, who is introduced as Rose Lalonde. * Rose, seeking higher ground and a better internet signal, goes to the observatory in her house and connects to an unsecure wifi point originating from a lab near her house. * Rose removes the door to John's bedroom, puts his bathtub back in the bathroom, and stores the Perfectly Generic Objects in her Phernalia Registry. * John uses the Totem with the Alchemiter, creating a Cruxite Apple which lands in his hands just half a minute before the meteor strikes his neighborhood, creating a huge explosion. * The curtains close on Act 1. ru:Homestuck: Акт 1